Chubby
by RainbowFez
Summary: Chase knows he's fat. He's trying to change but his diet and purging isn't doing anything. He can still see the chubby boy in the mirror and he hates it.


First I want disclose that I've never experienced anorexia even close to this extent so if this is slightly off from what it really feels like than sorry I'd I love to be PM'd so I can change in any future stories like this.

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Chase's eyes stared at the full length mirror in the master bathroom. He ran a hand across his flabby skin, shakily pausing when he reached his stomach. They said he was nerdy, dorky and ugly. He'd never find a girl and they'd been right. Unfortunately he couldn't change who he was. No matter how hard he tried he'd always be the pathetic looser who couldn't string a sentence together without making everything dull and boring. He knew because he'd tried. He'd always be this weird little creepy nerd. But he didn't have to look ugly. He could change. He could be as hot as Adam or as handsome as so many of the other boys at school. But after almost six months of trying he knew he couldn't. He'd tried but looking here in the mirror like he did every day he could tell he'd only become chubby, no fat. Maybe he wasn't as fat as principal parry but he was still fat. Everyone saw it and they judged him. He could see the way they looked at him while he changed for gym. He could see the disgusted look in their eyes. Some even flinched away. He was pathetic and even with the fancy leather jacket and cool jeans he still looked stupid.

Shakily Chase pulled his eyes away from the image he hated most in the world and turned toward the porcelain bole next to the tub. His legs felt weak as he walked across the room but he barely noticed. He'd gotten used to feeling weak. He ran out of breath just walking between classes. It was embarrassing and a constant reminder of how out of shape he'd gotten. He kneeled down and pulled the seat up. The water rippled slightly under his heavy breathing.

He closed his eyes and stuck his finger down his throat, expertly pressing the uvula. In a disgusting heave, the lunch that had gone in him an hour ago came back up through his throat and into the toilet. He kneeled there vomiting until there was nothing but stomach acid coming up, burning his throat and mouth. His hand fell back to the cold porcelain.

He held himself up with the toilet seat for several long minutes, head bobbing above the bowl. The purging took a lot out of him. It always made his body feel unsteady and empty. He was happy about the empty feeling but the wobbly, unstable feeling that spread through his tired limbs was something he didn't like. He probably wouldn't even do this if it didn't make him feel so empty. The cons were stacked so high. But he knew this was one of the best ways to lose some of this extra weight. He'd finally be hot. He'd finally be handsome.

Chase groaned and attempted to stand. His legs protested and he almost fell over but he worked through it. He could barely lift his body anymore. It was pathetic. He'd used to be able to do flips and kung Fu but now he was too overweight to do anything even close to that. Following the same routine he did after every meal he stepped away from the toilet and he walked back to the mirror. Nothing had changed. He was still a chubby kid with an ugly face and bad hair. His hand touched his chest where every rib could be seen perfectly defined through the skin.

He'd eat less. No more dinner and less lunch. He didn't need half a sandwich. That was way too much. Maybe he could take a bite. Yea a bite would be enough. One bite for lunch and no more dinner. He'd loose this weight if it was the last thing he did. He would be good looking and it would make up for every one of his flaws. No one would care that he was a buzzkill and a freak. He'd be hot and life would be better.

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I know this was short but I'd appreciate any reviews. If you know anyone with anorexia don't get angry or annoyed with them. Be patient and try to help them work trough it at a pace right for them.


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